Dead or Alive

It's a Filipino tradition to commemorate the death of a loved one. Oftentimes people visit the grave of a lost family member, a friend or even a renowned personality during the first day of November (Quite ironic, I think, as the day is actually to celebrate the saints of the Catholic Church). My family is no different to this.

I grew up not knowing most of my grandparents. My lolo Rodrigo passed away years before I was born. It has been a practice that we visit his tomb yearly. So despite the scorching heat of the sun, my mother, siblings and I brought flowers and candles to South Cemetery in Makati last Tuesday.

About fifteen minutes after we settled, my mom led us in prayer of the rosary (which I have stopped believing in since high school). I was expecting that we would leave afterwards but she said, “Maya-maya na anak. Minsan lang natin bisitahin ang lolo mo.”

But how does he know we're here? He’s dead. And I honestly don't think our presence here matters. Neither is the effort of million others who are out of their homes right now. 

Those were my thoughts as I try to deeply understand the observance of Undas in the country. I don't know when and how it started but obviously it's been embedded in me. 

Many say it's the opportune time to pay respect to someone we lost and a chance to reunite with relatives and friends. I'm not sure if I still believe that. What I know is that the best time to show love for someone is when they are still alive, when they can still see, hear and feel us. While a dead person's body remains here on Earth, I say he is no longer part of this world. As the ones left behind, we can only reminisce of the good memories we have of that person.

Likewise, any day could be an option for a family reunion. There's Christmas, New Year's Eve and birthdays. Any where could be a place to celebrate, but a mausoleum? It's quite inappropriate to have merriment in a supposed to be solemn place actually. 

Close ties is perhaps the best explanation for this tradition. Filipinos are family-oriented; we care so much for our kin that it's hard for us to let go of them even if they are already gone. As for me, I'd rather focus on the present, on my loved ones, so I won't have to regret anything someday.

Every day is crucial. We should make the most out of it.

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